Ancient Voices Paper

" Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.

When you have done pray tell me,
Then I, my thoughts, will dim.
Haste! ‘Lest while you’re lagging
I may remember him!”
-Emily Dickinson
Yaeko and Kiyoshi had grown up together, but until they were teens, had not given each other a second glance. One day Yaeko sat doing her family's laundry, and Kiyoshi walked by. He had done this many times before, seeing as his family lived down the road from hers; but this time was different. Instead of just walking by, paying no attention to Yaeko, he was smiling at her with a very nervous look plastered on his face. She was caught off guard, and smiled nervously back.
This ritual kept up for a couple of days, and everyday as soon as Yaeko saw Kiyoshi approaching, she would try to look so engrossed in her laundry, that when he got close enough, she would look "surprised" to see him. This charade was Yaeko's way of concealing the joy she felt every time Kiyoshi came by. This time unlike the others, Kiyoshi stopped to say hello. Yaeko responded with a weak ohayou gozaimasu. Their ten-minute conversations soon became the highlight of Yaeko's day. A year had gone by and their love for each other grew with every discussion. Then one fateful day, their dream of one day getting married, was shattered abruptly.
Yaeko's family had long since been in poor financial shape, albeit to say that Kiyoshi's family weren't well off financially either. In Yaeko's family's eyes, a union between Yaeko and Kiyoshi was not in their best interest. This is why Yaeko's parents arranged for her to marry another man. When Yaeko received this very unexpected news, she was furious at her parents. If not for her upbringing, she would have rebelled against them saying that she wanted to marry Kiyoshi. Instead, she was forced to keep her feelings to herself. The only justification Yaeko could scrounge up was that it was the best thing for her family. She knew that there was nothing she could do to stop this marriage, and was hoping that Kiyoshi would understand. She was deeply in love with Kiyoshi, and was sure that she would not be able to get over him and love her new husband.
His name was Teruo. He was a fairly wealthy man who worked in the Shogun's palace. Teruo had been married before, but his wife passed away two years ago. Since his wife's passing, he has been a very lonely man looking for a wife. He soon settled for Yaeko to be the woman to fill that void in his life. Teruo and Yaeko met for the first time at the exchange of the wedding gifts, and Yaeko was, truth to be told, a little disappointed by his appearance. The age difference between Teruo and Yaeko was a great obstacle for her to overcome. He was a man of thirty years, and she a tender age of eighteen.
After the wedding, Yaeko moved in with Teruo in a house just outside of the Shogun's palace. As time went on Yaeko hoped that her feelings towards Teruo would soften, and that she would grow to love him. But that didn't seem possible at the moment, because her love for Kiyoshi was real; the love she felt for Teruo wasn't true, it was an empty love. Yaeko would spend her days tending to the house and preparing for Teruo's return from work. Every night at dinner, Teruo would either keep to himself or talk about issues at work, which Yaeko never understood. Yaeko knew that she could not tell Teruo about her day or ask him to explain his, because it is not the wife's place to burden her troubles on her husband. This meant that Yaeko ended up ignoring the majority of the things that Teruo said during dinner.
Three years had passed and the monotony that Yaeko felt every day had not subsided. She knew that she should not feel this way about her husband, but she could not help it. Many daysYaeko would catch herself thinking about Kiyoshi. Envisioning his boyish good looks, remembering their conversations; soon Yaeko would find tears welling up in her eyes as she remembered that she couldn't be with him. Everyday, she would look out at her old village, imagining Kiyoshi walking over the hill towards her. This day was no different, but when she blinked, the image of Kiyoshi did not disappear. He was actually coming to her. When he got close enough, Yaeko ran out to greet him, but he didn't seem to be coming towards her. Yaeko shouted, "Kiyoshi Kiyoshi it's me Yaeko!" Kiyoshi stopped and turned towards her. A look of surprise grazed over his face, soon turning into joy. They greeted each other and Yaeko found out that Kiyoshi was heading to the Shoguns palace to deliver an offering to the Shogun from his village.
Their reunion had been a joyous one, and Yaeko once again found herself enjoying one of their conversations. Then a dismal expression glazed Kiyoshi's face, and the words that would haunt Yaeko for years were to be uttered. "I have married," muttered Kiyoshi. At that moment, Yaeko's hopes diminished. Ever since her marriage, she had secretly hoped that Kiyoshi would save her from her new husband. Now that she knew that that would never happen, she had to force herself to pretend that she was very happy for Kiyoshi. This pained Yaeko the most, knowing that another woman would be waiting for Kiyoshi to return home, and there was nothing she could do about it. Eventually Kiyoshi had to leave, and Yaeko said her final good-byes, wishing him and his wife a long and healthy life. Yaeko watched Kiyoshi disappear over the hill, and she knew that it would probably be the last time she will ever see him. As soon as Kiyoshi was out of earshot, Yaeko said finally, "good-bye my love." And with the last breath of the phrase, she expelled all of the dreams that she had been harboring for Kiyoshi. Never knowing what could have been, Yaeko returned to her house to finish her chores.